Blessed. Loved. Happy.

I am an extremely blessed girl.

I forget how blessed I really am sometimes, probably more often than I care to admit to. Somehow though, I get snapped back into forgetting what I don't have and want to finding peace and gratitude for what I have and need.

I don't speak a whole lot about my personal life on this blog. I do share my cute nieces, or things I like to do here and there, but when I struggle, I usually don't publicly look for solace. I find my different outlets to get past my struggles, but they are far from being public. Most of the time it's internal and I eventually find ways to see the upside, find lessons in my trials and become that blessed girl I was all along.

Usually every year for probably the past 3-4 years I've tried to come up with a theme for the year. Things that I have learned from the previous year usually lead me to the theme for the following year. Most of the time, I don't have my theme until maybe the end of February beginning of March. This year, I've been stuck. I have had the hardest time figuring out what I needed to remember to keep striving for. What my focus needed to be this year. Finally, I realized about two months ago that I've had my theme for a while, I just didn't admit to it.

Love.

Not like the "oooh, I'm so in love with you" love, or the "I just loooove your shoes" kind of love. I'm talking about unconditional. I forgot how important it is to love unconditionally. To just care about someone because they need it, and maybe even want it, but more importantly deserve it. This doesn't even have to be love. This is about giving without receiving. Caring without motives....I hope I am making sense here. It's about being kind, unconditionally.

This has been easy in some ways and hard for me in others to follow. I have realized while trying to remember to give unconditionally how much I can put a side my loved ones to try and give to those that don't know me from that one person who went out of their way to hold the door open for me because they saw my hands were full.

The other day I was standing in line to get a movie ticket and this woman turned around and said "hey, I have an extra coupon to get a discount on your movie ticket, do you want it?" She had no need to do that, I didn't know her, she didn't know me. She was just being nice. I had my own coupon, so we said thank you anyway. Where as I would have saved that extra coupon for another time I'd go to the movies, she was willing to give it up for nothing in return.

It's about trying to see outside of myself to see how I can reach out to help others in spite of my quick judgments, my fear of rejection, my time, and so many other things. And more than anything doing those things daily, without thought, but just to do them because I should. I have been lucky to be reminded constantly by the examples of the loving and caring people around me how much more I need to work to be like them.

I think I will be working on this for a lot longer than this year. I'm sure I will make it a sub theme for some time after this year. I am happy because I know how blessed I am. How loved I am. How much I know that even though I can be grouchy or complain that I am able to find my way back to the kindness, care and love BECAUSE I am given those things daily, hourly, in minutes and seconds even when not deserved. Which means, I need to give it back in return with that same gratitude and unconditional love.